Death and Resurrection of a Dream

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As each of us journey in our life, following the Lord's direction, earnestly listening to His voice, praying constantly for peace and discernment we come across moments that can leave us feeling alone, lost, or confused along the way.

For many years I felt lost and confused coupled with feelings of shame and regret. I really thought I had heard the Lord's voice and got direction. He even gave me a passion for what I thought to be a specific calling. I called it "my dream". The dream the Lord had given me. There are quite a few of you reading this, to whom I shared this dream. As I quietly and privately shared the dream with some of you, I prayed in my heart that your wisdom and the Holy Spirit within you would confirm what I was feeling in my heart.

This "dream" -- idea -- was not for me, but rather a way of doing ministry. A new way to see the body of Christ work together. A return to the priorities of the early church, and abandonment of how it's always been, in exchange for a vision that would only work if everyone knew their purpose and played their part. We named it Onesiphorus Ministries.

I doubt that I am in any kind of exclusive club of ministers or persons that have had an idea or dream of the church doing greater things in the world with the Gospel for the Kingdom. However, I did feel quite unique and a part of a very exclusive group, when I saw my dream die. Completely and Utterly DEAD. The only thing that remained was Onesiphorus files on my computer, and questions in my mind of what I could have done differently.

Eleven years later, I have some answers. I know that the dream did die. I know now that it wasn't my fault, but part of a much greater plan that is far beyond Mateo or the Melendez family. This journey, this dream, this idea, this path of ministry is for YOU... ALL OF YOU!! Here are three things that came from the Death of that Dream.


Resurrection......

For a Resurrection to take place a few things are necessary.

The Death -- the dream the Lord gave me back in 2005, truly died. I thought that I had killed the dream, and the Lord was shaping me with the knowledge I didn't do enough to keep the dream alive. I believe that although this was not true, I had to feel this way to grieve the loss of what could have been.

Grief is a very interesting thing. It can bring a person down, lock them up into an emotional dungeon, but it also has the ability to heal. When you grieve are you being locked up emotionally or healed privately and quietly? In these times, we can find ourselves in desperate need of assurance. A reminder there is more to this life than just living and dying. We find ourselves asking, "Did my emotional investment make a difference? Or was it just my source of personal doubt and loss of faith?" As in every resurrection story, I had to grieve my loss, emotionally I had to know that there was no way that I could ever bring this dream back to life again.

The Miracle -- Or maybe better to say, The Miracle Worker. The only resurrection comes through the One who has resurrection power. The Miracle is not just that our Lord Jesus Christ has the power, it is more so that He chooses to Reveal Himself, promote the Kingdom, and Invite others to find forgiveness and grace through this Supernatural Power of Resurrection.

In 2015 I was introduced to a brother in Christ, who within a short period of time would carry me and my dream back to the feet of the Miracle Worker. What I thought was not possible, what I had emotionally buried, what I had put out of my mind as an option for moving forward; was now a possibility. Could it really be that the dream was meant to live? The answer is simple. If the Lord wants whatever it is that died to be alive, then it will live. He wanted Lazarus to live because he was a friend of the Lord, but more so because He had a greater purpose for Lazarus.

The New Life -- What good would it be for friends, family, church, or ministry to go through a death, to grieve a loss, and give up on what was, to then receive a miracle of resurrection to only go back to the way things were? That is ludicrous!! New Life, means another chance, a new start, a clean slate. A change to do this right, to do things differently, or for me, it was to get others involved to expand the kingdom. If the new life was not of extreme importance to the Kingdom Purpose, then why the miracle of resurrection?

This is what I am most confident: That this resurrection of a dream from 2005 is not for Mateo or the Melendez family. This happened for a much greater purpose, and the death of the original dream and the new life in the ministry now called Kingdom Footprint is not for anyone to possess, but for everyone to own. Now it was time for me to learn what exactly that meant.


Learning......

As God was bringing the dream back to life, I could begin to see that the growth process, the learning, and my mindset and focus that had changed through the process of grief. He had been teaching me the whole time, while the dream was buried deep away. What the Lord was teaching me was to change me so that I would be ready for a resurrection. I had to own that the shame I had privately carried for so many years, and realize that it was not part of this process of learning and growth. Could it be that not only did the dream have to die for me to become willing to learn, but I had to experience that loss so that I would get over myself? Open my heart and mind, to learn how to depend on the Lord more than ever before.

I had so many questions! Which I now recognize is what we all have to have, in order to learn. How do we accomplish the vision? What steps do I take, and how do I invite others to join me on this journey? It will take many others to change a paradigm of church ministry. It will take a lot of time to find the right steps and direction. At the start of the process, again I approached some of you and asked for your wisdom and discernment for the next steps. The Lord reveled to us that we have been gifted with ministry principles, years of missions/leadership training, and many mission partners who desire to make an impact for the Kingdom.

Through much wise counsel I know together we must let it grow slowly. Build a sustainable and reproducible model. A ministry that will incorporate others talent, skills, gifts, and experiences to shape the ministry into a healthy, productive, and effective catalyst for the Gospel in the Kingdom. It is way bigger than just one dream and one person.

The call is for ALL of us to invest in the Kingdom, to support and encourage those on the front lines fighting for the Lost, the Hurting, and the Broken. The only question is, "In what ways have I been gifted, where do I apply my talent and passion, and when or where will I step in to invest?" Your own life experiences, your own grief, and the lessons you have learned from your own failures are the lessons that you can pass along to others who are lost and broken.


Confirmation......

Lord, how do I know this is from you? How will I know when the ministry is taking the right steps, and going in the right direction? I need Your Peace, but confirmation that this path, this calling, this ministry is from you would calm my heart and steady my mind. Over the last year, in so many ways the Lord had confirmed to Cherene and me that this is from the Father and that this is the right journey.

Confirmation came in specifically about changing the name from Onesiphorus Ministries to Kingdom Footprint. So many ways the signs were so obvious, I really wonder was blinded by my own way of thinking to not see them sooner? Maybe it's like when you buy a new car, and then all of a sudden there are so many cars that are the same color as yours, so many of the same model all over the road. OR... Is it just God's divine timing and the vision of the Kingdom is growing, the Holy Spirit is speaking to many people about making a bigger impact for the Kingdom. I believe the latter is what is true, and furthermore, I believe that the use of the word "Kingdom", and the regularity of its use is all a part of what God is doing in us, the church.

Another huge confirmation was an answer to the question, "Will people embrace the vision, or catch the concept of a ministry that passes along funds, support, volunteers, and teams to help grow different ministry?"

Since mid-November, we have been sharing needs that other ministries have, and placed those needs on our Kingdom Footprint online community. Each need had a story, a financial goal, and a defined impact that would be made by fulfilling the need. Nine months have passed since we posted the first needs, this is what our ministry partners and members of the Kingdom Footprint community have accomplished:

• 7 different needs have been posted. (2 with missions internships, and 5 with partners.)
• Over $27,000 has been given to meet these needs.
• Gifts and donations have come in from more than 75 different donors.
• Kids in the Philippines attended camp and found new life in Christ.
• Pastors tired and struggling from hurricane recovery were encouraged and loved.
• A church was able to divide an open building into designated areas for kids and worship.
• A family moved to begin the next journey of life as missionary teachers in Kenya.

The development, planning, and now launch of Expanding Borders program has been such a strong confirmation that we are on the right path. This series of interactive lessons and discussions are designed to equip churches with proven mission strategies that engage and empower individual congregations as they respond to Christ’s call.

Confirmation also has come through you. You have partnered with us, you receive the newsletter, you have read all the way to this point, and that confirms that God wants to use you along with others to invest and participate in the vision of Kingdom Footprint.

When you join our community is it more confirmation of the journey. As a community member, you would have the opportunity to support a need just like 75 others already have. Perhaps you can serve as an advocate for ministry/missionary/pastor that has a need that you know of and could propose the need to Kingdom Footprint team.

The final and strongest confirmation will come through more financial investors. People just like you who grasp the vision, and can dream of the possibilities of what will happen through Kingdom Footprint. We are already blessed by so many of you who invest. With just 30 more monthly donors, we can begin to spend more time and focus on encouraging our partners and coaching churches towards a greater impact for the Kingdom.