Coming to Know Christ

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I am the second child of three children from my mother, however our story is very difficult. All three of us are half-siblings. My older brother's father was abusive, my father is deceased due to suicide, and my youngest brother's father and my mother divorced due to some circumstances/events that took place.

My older brother and I are victims of sexual abuse. My youngest brother's dad lied to my mother about numerous things, amongst these were how many previous spouses he had obtained as well as children. Upon this discovery, my mom encouraged him to be a part of his other children's lives. Hence, I was introduced to three stepbrothers who would spend every other weekend with us. At this time I was in kindergarten and my older brother was in second grade, while my step brother's were between the ages of 15-17. Eventually, they decided to play "truth or dare" which escalated very quickly. This went on until I reached 5th grade. My mom found out and divorced Glenn, however no justice was received because Glenn had my maternal grandmother (who wasn't active in our lives) to testify against us saying that we were coersed by our mother and were lying.

Eventually my mom remarried to a man who deserved her and we relocated to schertz, Texas. I was still emotionally torn so I began to question why God would allow such a circumstance to occur to me and my brother. As a result, I confided in a pastor in a church nearby. However shortly after, he told everyone in my age group my story in a sermon without my permission. Needless to say, I turned away from the church, and ultimately God.

At the same time, my older brother, Devin, became heavily addicted to a plethora of drugs. He partially became addicted due to our family history with drug addictions, but also due to his inability to be responsible for his actions and inability to grasp what had happened to us in our earlier years. I wish I could tell you that things have changed with Devin, however it has been six years and he is still heavily addicted.

About three years ago, my family and I took a vacation to Hendersonville, Tennessee to spend quality time with my stepfather's family. It was there that I was introduced to First Baptist and realized that not all churches were bad. I submerged myself in the lessons I heard for those short months until we returned home and was left with a yearning in my heart. I wanted to know, really know, God. My junior year I kept asking my parents to relocate and move in with my grandparents. Of course, they were hesitant and kept denying me this opportunity until a couple of weeks until I actually moved.

I spent my senior year residing with my grandparents. I plugged in the church and got involved in the Event Ministry. It was through this group that I could nourish my relationship with our Heavenly Father and ultimately obey him in Baptism. This year has been filled with many struggles being away from my immediate family, however I was given a new life. I was finally able to allow the scars that had been embedded in my heart to heal, and come to terms with what had happened. My trials have given me a voice and also given me the faith to peruse God's plans. This mission trip will officially be my first, and I am extremely eager for God to utilize me for someone's salvation.